The Fear
by peachy626
Summary: When Sheppard returns from his almost death at Kolya's hand Elizabeth finally realises that sometimes being afraid can lead to something else...  rubbish at summaries sorry!


Disclaimer: Don't own anything no matter how much I reeeeeealy wish I did!

Rating: M/Adult

Beta: Not got one so any mistakes are mine – sorry!

Feedback: yes please! This is only my 5th story and it's nice to know if I'm doing it right!

Setting: During/after Common Ground (Season 3 Ep 7).

Spoilers: For Common Ground, as above.

**The Worst Moment**

Elizabeth Weir was literally bouncing on her toes she was so anxious. The gate had activated what felt like a lifetime ago, which might actually only have been about ninety seconds but hey who was counting? She knew her team was safe and that Sheppard had been recovered alive and apparently well, despite the horror she'd been forced to witness him endure at the hand of Kolya. She knew she wouldn't feel better until the Jumper _actually_ appeared though.

Leaning over the balcony watching the blue puddle glow against the darkness outside the city she closed her eyes when the image of John being tortured and fed upon came unbidden into her mind. She was saved from reliving it yet again when Chuck relayed the message that the Jumper was leaving the planet where they'd dropped 'John's Wraith', as Rodney had called it, off. Almost before he'd finished the sentence the familiar shape of the small ship nosed its way through the gate and came to a stop. As it rose automatically into the Jumper Bay Elizabeth craned her neck to see inside the windshield but caught only a blur of faces in the unusually crowded cockpit.

Turning from the balcony she wrung her hands and toyed with the idea of going up and greeting the Jumper, but decided that since she knew everyone was technically a-ok she should stay in the control room. They always laughed at her for being so protective of them all anyway so no need to fuel the fire any more than necessary. Heading over the bridge to her office she intended to move paperwork round her desk to pretend she wasn't itching to go see her people. She had just about cleared the doorway when she heard hurried footsteps behind her and a familiar voice saying her name. When she turned and saw John Sheppard, still in full combat gear complete with P90, trotting towards her her stomach did the little 'drop' thing she had become accustomed to when seeing him for the first time after one of them had suffered a near death or similarly dangerous incident. Even considering the truly awful couple of days he'd had, though she was certain she didn't yet know the half of it, he was wearing that stupid half grin he always seemed to reserve for her. Reaching her he stood within a couple of feet and braced his arms on the top of his gun.

"So, I'm home." He said to her with a grin. He was aware she didn't like to have him in her office in full combat gear, the P90 was especially unwelcome, but he'd thought she'd be in the Jumper Bay to meet the returning teams and had oddly found himself a little disappointed when she wasn't. Since he was her second in command he figured his first stop should be to see her – he knew it was a crap excuse for dashing down here practically as soon as the ramp opened but it was all he had. Plus, he wasn't too sure what that meant. He knew he cared about her and she was his friend as well as 'technically' his boss but since the whole Genii invasion thing during the storm he'd found himself suffering a sick feeling whenever she was in danger or lost or whatever. He found having her in the field with him made him a nervous wreck and he wasn't sure how to feel about that at all.

"Yes. You are". Biting back a full blown smile she allowed a half one and raised her eyebrows at him. Vaguely she realised their words matched those they'd shared on his return to Atlantis after the Wraith attack on the city. She waited for him to go on, he usually put away his gear before coming to see her after getting home, and she wondered why he'd come straight down now. She didn't want to admit that she liked the fact he seemed eager to see her – as eager as she wasn't allowing herself to be to see him.

The flyboy grin and cocky stance slipped a little when he realised she was waiting for him to say something. Damn, s_he was probably waiting for intel or a report or something – he couldn't really just come out and say he'd charged down here asap just because he knew she worried and wanted her to know he was alright._ _Could he? Right, no, that was not what he should say._ Rubbing his neck absently with one hand he looked at her for a beat longer before speaking, deciding humour was the best way forward.

"So, I'm er, pretty tired. I guess I'll turn in. Just wanted to check you hadn't thrown any wild parties while I was gone, scratched the coffee table or anything.." He grinned and winked at her before turning and walking away. As he reached the control room and headed towards the stairs he heard her call out to him.

"Debrief and meeting 0900 John".

He half turned and saw her still in her doorway, arms hugging herself. Putting on his best hangdog, little boy lost look he whined "Elizabeth, can't be make it 10:00? I've had a rough coupla days y'know, being fed on by a Wraith an' all". Chuck stifled a laugh at John's pleading voice and he could see Elizabeth trying not to smile when she answered "Ok, fine. 10 it is." She turned and moved into her office without looking back at him.

Trotting down the stairs Sheppard headed for the armoury to disrobe himself of his weapons and flak vest before tiredly walking to his quarters for a long hot shower and sleep. He only hoped that he wouldn't be bothered by dreams of the last few days.

**OooooOOOOooooO**

Up in her office Elizabeth clicked absently through her mailbox, ignoring the messages from Rodney about his urgent need for an espresso machine on the next Daedalus delivery. She replied to one from Carson about some new drugs he'd ordered from Earth and signed a few other requisition requests from other departments. Her mind wasn't really on the task though and sighing she leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. She realised she hadn't eaten pretty much all day what with everything going on and abandoning her desk headed for the mess. Even this late at night there were a few people grabbing a snack and Elizabeth nodded at them as she selected a couple of items and a cup of coffee.

After she'd finished and emptied her tray she headed back towards her office but in the transporter she deliberated about instead retiring for the night. She was tired and tomorrow would be another long day – the paperwork involving John's capture and, thankfully subsequent, rescue alone would tie her up all day. Decision made she pressed the spot on the map that would deliver her closest to 'home', instantly the door reopened and she exited onto her hallway. Moving along the corridor she marvelled at how quiet it was and passing a window she saw the ocean was also calm tonight. These silent times in the usually hectic city, when there wasn't a bomb ticking somewhere, or a hive ship en route and everyone was safely tucked inside, were her favourite.

She slowed unconsciously as she approached the door to John's quarters. She figured he'd be sleeping by now but remained standing there, as if standing just outside the room she knew he was safely inside would mean she'd be able to keep him from any further harm. The idea was crazy, he was a soldier, he ventured into harm's way daily – and willingly at that. But tonight, after watching him almost die in front of her and being able to do nothing to stop it she needed to know he was safely home. The pain she'd felt when watching the video from Kolya had changed to a dull ache when she'd finally received the news he was safe.

Sighing and cursing quietly under her breath she prepared to move on but jerked her head up startled when she heard the familiar hiss of the door mechanism opening. Meeting her wide eyes was a tousled John Sheppard, now far less overdressed in sweats and tshirt. He looked a little surprised himself to find someone – anyone – directly outside his door when he opened it but smiled at her after a beat or two.

"John, I… er. I didn't wake you did I?". She trailed off, suddenly at a loss for why she was stood right outside his door at 2am like some crazy person. Realising she hadn't rung the bell she wondered why he'd opened the door. "Were you going out?"

Seeing the confusion in her eyes he smiled a little wider and folded his arms across his chest. "Yeah, I er. Strangely enough I was on my way to see you". She blinked at him. "Weird, huh?". He smiled more broadly when her eyes remained wide and her lips did a convincing fish impression opening and closing with no sounds emerging. Elizabeth was rarely lost for words, and it amused him to see her so. Still grinning at her he refused to speak and 'rescue' her, instead waiting for her to find her voice and train of thought again.

"I, er. Did you need me for something John?" she finally managed to stammer out. She finally met his gaze and saw his eyes were smiling too. The damn man was obviously quite amused she'd been caught off guard, loitering outside his quarters.

Leaning against his doorjamb he shrugged a little and told her honestly "No, I just couldn't sleep and wanted to come by to say thank you is all".

Elizabeth blanched. _To say thank you for what? I didn't do a damned thing while he was dying in some godforsaken Genii hellhole of a prison and he's _thanking_ me?_ Though she simply said "Thank me for what John?" as if she wasn't at all bothered by the fact he didn't seem upset she hadn't even tried to save him. And boy was that a drain on her exhausted psyche.

He narrowed his eyes slightly, weighing her nonchalant tone up. "I wanted to say thanks for y'know listening to me when I told you not to make a deal with Kolya."

_So… he was thanking her for letting her head rule her emotions and not saving his life when given the chance. Great. As if she didn't feel crappy enough about the whole thing._

Looking at him she considered what to say. She couldn't very well say _"You're welcome, think nothing of it"_ because that wasn't true. Making her decision to not trade Ladon for him had been the singularly most awful choice she'd ever been forced to make. _And_ she'd had to make it in front of almost all her senior staff. It had broken her heart to see him being hurt and what was almost worse was the way he had seemed to relax on the tape when she'd said no to Kolya's demands. Like she was doing the right thing when her entire being was screaming at her to throw Ladon through the goddamn gate.

Instead when she opened her mouth she arched her eyebrow at him a little and murmured "That's funny, really, since I think I came here to apologise to you for the same thing."

And in a blinding moment of clarity she realised _that_ was the truth. She suddenly understood the aching feeling and desire to see him had been mostly born from guilt. Guilt that she'd sentenced him to die – even if he had 'ordered' her to do it himself – when every time she'd been in trouble he'd fought tooth and nail to save her.

"Elizabeth you have nothing to be sorry for. Kolya is a madman who we simply cannot negotiate with. My life is not worth the sacrifice of anyone else's and I'm glad you did as I asked. You're the strongest person I've ever met, I knew you'd do what was right."

He tried to meet her eyes as he spoke but she offered a wry half laugh before sighing and looking downward. As he opened his mouth to speak again she turned away and took a few steps towards the hall window opposite his door. He paused for only a heartbeat before quietly padding out to stand behind her as she gazed out at the ocean. She turned her head almost imperceptibly so he knew she was aware of him. Standing in silence he didn't know what to say to make her feel better. He could feel heat radiating off her in waves and didn't know if it was anger or something else fuelling it.

He almost missed it when she spoke quietly. "What the hell was right about it John? What was right would have been to dial up whatever address we had to and send whoever we damn well had to through to save you. Not to let him kill you a few years at a time in front of our faces. In front of _my_ face."

"Elizabeth –" he started but shut up when she whirled on the spot and faced him with angry tears in her eyes. Catching his breath he realised she wasn't just mad at Kolya, she was mad because of what he himself had asked her to do – nothing. When he'd been captive and about to die he'd thought using his last words to her to tell her to not do anything Kolya asked would make it easier for her, not make her feel this way.

She was breathing fast, trying to fend of the threatened tears so almost without any thought he instinctively framed her face with his hands and gently pulled her towards him. Her forehead came to rest on his chest and her hands circled his waist, her hands fisting the fabric of his tshirt as she fought for control of her emotions. Lowering his head he murmured comfortingly to her and gently placed whispers of kisses onto the crown of her head. He could feel the heat from her breath through his shirt to his skin and moved his hands to her back to pull her closer, into a firm embrace. As he gently rubbed her spine gradually he felt her clenched muscles loosen and her breathing settle into a slower pace.

Realising she had stopped gripping his shirt so violently he bowed his head close to her ear and murmured through her hair "Are you ok?" and he felt her nod against his chest. Loosening his hands on her back a little he allowed her the space to move away from him, he knew she wouldn't want to be caught like this if anyone happened by.

So he was a little startled and perplexed when she didn't move away and instead seemed to step closer, if that was even possible, her hands snaking up his back to hook over his shoulders. She lifted her head and nuzzled into his neck in the crook between his shoulder and jaw and he was aware of the scent of her hair as it tickled his chin. Feeling her breath on the sensitive skin of his adams apple he realised he himself was hardly managing to breathe. His grip had retightened on her quite without his permission, his hands were splayed over her tiny back and he was suddenly very aware that they were now pressed together from knee to, well everywhere above there. It wasn't as if he'd never held her before, he had. They were friends afterall and one another's only real outlet for comfort since neither one of them was allowed to fraternise with their subordinates. She was Elizabeth, his friend and confidante and occasional intellectual sparring partner. But this was different, their hugs were usually quick and almost perfunctory, right now they were pressed as close together as humanly possible and John had the unshakable feeling that he wanted to lift her chin and –

"I thought you were gone". He blinked, shaken from his thoughts by her voice vibrating against his skin. He was still processing the fact she'd spoken and the fact he'd been thinking totally off limit things when he noticed she'd stopped breathing, waiting for a response. Silently berating himself he forced his hands to stroke her skin soothingly and whispered back "But I'm not, I'm here. With you."

She lifted her face then, to look at him, and the way their arms were wrapped around one another meant their faces were only inches apart. He searched her eyes for a reason to loosen his hold on her but saw only warmth and the realisation that she too was having trouble working out what this particular hug meant. Moving his left hand from the small of her back he tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and grazed her jaw with the pad of his thumb. He wasn't prepared for the shock of electricity that passed through him and evidently Elizabeth was having the same issue as her breath hitched and he felt her pulse pounding against his shoulder where her hands held him. Slowly he moved his hand to tangle in her curls and cupped the back of her neck, fingers gently tickling the nape.

And right there in that single moment John realised he was hopelessly lost. He was staring into the pools of her green eyes and knew his own must be fiery with heat and hunger by now but he was at a loss as to what the hell to do next. Any other woman, any other time he'd have dipped his head and kissed her already but this was Elizabeth – _Elizabeth_ – and he had no idea what was going on here.

Instead he carried on looking into her eyes and saw the shift as she too was thinking the same things. Her eyes darkened as her pupils contracted and he saw the uncertainty there, but also the heat that was starting to glow in her gaze.

And then suddenly, the problem was taken away from him as she moved one of her hands to rest at the nape of his own neck and slowly went up onto her tiptoes so their lips were only millimetres apart. He could feel her breath entering his own mouth as she exhaled and he inhaled and finally losing the ability to apply any reasoning to what was happening he gently brushed her mouth with his. The kiss was almost over before it had begun and John immediately pulled back to gauge her reaction – images of being sent home aboard the Daedalus with a no doubt smug-as-hell Caldwell flying into his mind. Instead he saw Elizabeth's eyes still closed, her cheeks a little flushed from the intensity of it all. Quickly weighing up the fact she hadn't shifted at all, her shallow breathing and the fact she was still jammed hard against him…. everywhere, he decided he could chance doing it again.

This time, he pressed his lips a little harder against hers and was rewarded with a breathy gasp and her nails tugging at his hair. Guessing he was doing something right he chanced flicking his tongue out, when he did so she hummed low in her throat and readily opened her mouth to him, edging her own tongue into the cavern of his mouth as his explored hers. This kiss was slow and deep, full of heat and passion but also of need and longing and desire. When at last they broke apart John rested his forehead on Elizabeth's and waited for his ability to speak to return.

Breathing hard after the best first kiss she could ever remember receiving Elizabeth trailed her nails down over John's shoulders and rested on his strong upper arms. She could feel the muscles flexing under her exploring fingers and even though her eyes were still closed she knew he was studying her. Finally opening her eyes she was met with his brown ones, now almost black with heat and want. As she watched he flicked his tongue out to wet his lips and she could almost hear the cogs whirring in his head, trying to work out what the hell they were doing and what would happen next.

His lips were warm from the recent pressure of hers and he could taste a hint of coffee on his tongue that he knew he hadn't himself drunk. As he breathed deeply regaining his breath he caught the smell of her skin; soap and something citrusy he couldn't place, irrationally stifling a giggle at the idea it was to ward Rodney and his lemon phobia off. Her face was still only centimetres away and the fingers of one hand lazily trailed the line of her jaw and traced her lips. Somewhere in the depths of his head he was trying not to acknowledge how incredibly right and normal and truly amazing this all felt.

John desperately wanted her to open her eyes so he could sense her reaction. _Was she as startled as him by the way this felt so right? Or was she trying to work out how best to fire his ass?_

Elizabeth relaxed back down onto the flats of her feet and the slight change in their positions seemed to shake John awake. Loosening his hold on her hair he took a half step backwards and sighed out a shaky breath. She was looking down now, so he still couldn't read her eyes and this, he decided, was bad. Very bad. He'd totally stepped over the line and kissed his freaking boss and now she was no doubt trying to work out how to cuss him out best. Realising in that case he probably shouldn't have his hands on her like he currently did he moved them away and for a moment looked at the offending limbs trying to work out where the hell he should put them as he tried to fix this…. well whatever this was. Eventually settling for his pockets John tucked his hands safely inside his sweats and cleared his throat. "Elizabeth I, God. I'm – Er. That probably shouldn't have happened, should it?" he stammered out and waited for some reaction from her. Getting none, he decided chickening out was the best course of action now and he backed up another step saying "So, I er… I'm gonna go on into bed and we can sort this out. Later. I, er guess". He turned and padded back towards his doorway, the hiss of the door sliding open almost covering her quietly spoken next words. He stopped and half turned his head, replaying the last 10 seconds to check he'd heard her right and felt his entire body still at the implication of her words.

"What if I wanted it to happen? If I always wanted it to happen?"

Fourteen normal, everyday words into two questions that rocked his world.

He turned slowly round to face her and she was still stood where he'd left her but now he head was up and her eyes were large and filled with a mixture of fear, wonder, nervousness and something he was really hoping was want. Because he was pretty sure that's what was in his right now.

Locking her eyes onto his Elizabeth slowly closed the small distance between them and watched his pupils dilate as she approached. She could see his chest rising and falling quite fast and when she finally reached him and placed the flat of her palm on his chest over his heart, she could feel it racing under her touch. "You're here. With me."

John felt as if the world was exploding around him and the only thing that was calm and still and crystal clear was Elizabeth. She was all he could see, and hear and feel and the moment she touched his chest the jolt of electricity he felt should've surely stopped his heart, not made it pound like it wanted to be right out of his chest. His door remained open due to his proximity and never losing her gaze John stepped backwards into his quarters and Elizabeth followed.

John directed the door to close and lock with a momentary thought and then realised they were alone. In his room. In the near dark after kissing like teenagers in the hall. And he had _no_ idea what the hell to say or do. Breaking the ice, Elizabeth smiled and cocked one eyebrow "Show off" she said. He smiled and closed the small distance between them. Lifting one hand to her face he ran his fingertips down her cheek, feeling her swallow as he explored her throat before running his thumb over her collarbone. His fingers continued their journey over her shoulders and down lean, toned arms before ending at her hand, which was still motionless at her side.

Slowly she turned her hand so that their palms faced one another and interlaced her fingers with his. Bringing their joined hands up she stared at them in amazement for a moment, before gently placing kisses on each of his knuckles, red from recent fighting. She heard John's breath hitch and a tiny gasp escape from his mouth, finally meeting his gaze once more she stifled a gasp of her own at the way he was looking at her. She'd never seen his eyes look this way; hot and dark and maybe a little scared. Usually his eyes were playful and twinkled a little in that flyboy way he had, or hard when he addressed a foe or aimed a gun but now - god, the way he was staring at her it was like he wanted to consume her. And Elizabeth was inclined to let him when at that precise moment he gently but firmly pressed her into him with the hand she wasn't holding. His splayed palm was hot on the small of her back but the thing that made her moan low in her throat was the fact she could feel the evidence of his arousal against the top of her thigh and damn, if it didn't rock _her_ world.

He'd resisted as long as he could, really he had. But the way she was kissing his hand and the fact his forearm was brushing her breasts every time she moved her mouth to another knuckle was _literally_ killing him. He was hard from the moment they'd kissed in the hall but it had been dulled a little by the panic and shock of what had happened. It had hardened even more when in the dark her skin had quivered and tensed under his touch. So by the time they'd reached this stage he thought he might actually just explode outright. He'd been wrong of course – the noise she'd made when he pressed himself against her, let her feel what he was feeling, had changed everything.

He was not ordinarily the type of guy to let tender whispering touches get him to boiling point; he was a caring lover and not a typical military wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am kinda guy. But he still generally needed a lot more nudity to get to the point where he was this close. And damn if he wasn't close now. The noise from low in her throat coupled with her hot and heaving chest pressed against him was making it difficult to function.

Closing his eyes tight and resting his forehead against hers he fought for control of himself. Elizabeth released his hand and traced the muscles in his arms as her fingers explored their way to his neck. He let his now cold hand join his other on her back but slowly moved lower to rest just at the top of her pert ass. Feeling the change of position of his hands she rocked her hips gently into him and thrilled at the hiss that escaped his lips.

_Goddamn was she _trying_ to kill him? The minute pressure of her body rocking against his sensitive arousal was beyond being more than he could take, he was about ready to blow a load right there in his pants. For chrissakes, he felt like a freaking teenager who'd never done this before. He had to do something – anything – real fast or he was going to have a problem._

Pulling his forehead from hers he grazed his lips over her cheekbone until they were against her ear.

"I want you" he murmured. When he was rewarded with a much more pronounced moan and gripping of her hands in his hair he continued "I need you. Right now".

Elizabeth stretched up onto her tiptoes and pressed herself against him toe to chest. Her lean feminine muscles moulding against his hard solid masculinity. Her nails tangled further into his ever messy black hair and when he found her lips with his own once more his kiss was hard and urgent and hot. Their lips and teeth nipped and licked one another and hands traced and gripped and applied pressure in fantastic places until neither of them could last a moment more and they broke apart panting. Meeting her eyes for just a moment before he bent his neck to nip along her jaw he saw everything he wanted there; heat, want, desire, and he was terrified. He was gently tracing the bare skin above the waistband of Elizabeth's pants and his fingers were almost trembling. He'd never, ever been unsure with a woman before but he was afraid now. Afraid of what he was feeling, what she was feeling, what he was doing, what he wanted to do. All of it.

And yet he was also strangely calm, like he was finally at peace, with her gasping his name as he peppered her neck with kisses and worked his hands higher up the back of her shirt until he reached the level of her breasts. The place where he had expected to find a bra strap to undo. Pulling back from her in surprise her eyes took a moment to clear of the lust-filled fog he'd created and she smiled in triumph. Leaning in close to his mouth she whispered "Surprise" with a sly grin before pressing her lips once more against his.

When she kissed him he _almost_ ceased to care that she wasn't wearing underwear and instead threw himself once more into kissing her senseless. He shifted his hands to hold her sides, a little below her armpits and traced the edge of her breasts with his thumbs. She hummed her approval into his mouth and he swallowed it down, storing it inside in a place he hadn't even known had existed until that moment. What he'd said was true, he did want her, need her. But it wasn't just a sexual need, he had begun to finally realise he'd never felt this way before, not with any woman, not even his ex-wife and it didn't scare him anymore, it thrilled him.

As his thumbs grazed against her soft skin again and again her hands roamed down from his shoulders to his stomach and when her long fingers found their way under the cotton of his shirt he shuddered at her touch. She traced the flexing muscles she found and scratched her nails up until her own fingers found his male chest. Gently tugging on the spattering of hair she found she ground her hips against his and smiled at the groan she elicited.

Moving his hands to the hem of her shirt John gently pushed it upwards, fingers making whispering circles on the newly uncovered skin until he reached her ribcage. Elizabeth drew a shaky breath and John looked at her in silent question, offering her one last moment to have doubts, to change her mind, to end this….thing they were doing. Yet in her eyes he saw no uncertainty or worry, just heat and desire swirling there. With one quick movement and without tearing his gaze from hers John pulled Elizabeth's shirt upwards and over her head. As she took a sharp intake of breath at the colder air finding her skin she fought the desire to cover herself. It had been a long time since she'd been with a man, and even longer since she'd been naked for the _first_ time in front of someone, she'd been with Simon so long. After a few moments she dared to look up into John's eyes and found them totally focussed on her own. Whether or not he saw her fleeting panic he managed to allay her fear with not only his eyes as his pupils flared but with words spoken so softly she almost didn't realise she'd heard them at all.

"You're so beautiful." And with that he ducked his head and captured her mouth again in a slow kiss that made Elizabeth forget she even cared about being naked.

When he'd pulled her top over her head John had of course seen what he had uncovered, he was a guy after all but the instant she'd flinched as if to cover her newly exposed skin with her arms in a traditionally Elizabeth manner his eyes had refocused on hers. He didn't want her to feel shy or like she had to hide, he'd seen her at her very worst and still found her the most awesome woman he'd ever encountered. He wouldn't let her think less now.

Breaking the kiss which was threatening to asphyxiate them both he felt his shirt being pushed gently upwards. Taking the hint he whipped it over his head and threw it haphazardly behind him somewhere. Grinning down at her he smiled at the fact she would usually have just chastised him for being a slob.

She met his eyes and joined his smile with her own and an arched brow, a silent question as to why he was grinning like a fool. Instead of answering he gently pulled her close again and relished the feeling of their naked torsos meeting for the first time. He could feel her softness against him falling away to her flat tummy and his smile disappeared, replaced by a reignited urge to have all of her immediately.

Obviously on the same page Elizabeth teased the waistband of his sweats and pushed gently. She felt a hand go to the fastener of her cargo pants and flick deftly to release them. Smiling she murmured her earlier tease "Show off". As he moved his mouth back to hers she could feel his smile before he claimed her mouth again in a kiss that stole all conscious thought.

Unbidden her hands shoved at John's sweats more urgently and she felt them swish gently downward. Jolted from the kiss as the cold air found his legs he hissed and kicked gently to loosen them from his ankles. Pulling Elizabeth closer he met her eyes and gently lowered his head to kiss her jaw, her neck, her clavicles and down the valley between her heaving chest. Lowering himself to his haunches he met her belly button and licked the delicate skin around it. His hands found the unfastened waist of her pants and traced the skin underneath as he slowly, one tooth at a time, lowered the zipper. With nothing to hold them up the fabric drifted slowly down to Elizabeth's ankles. Nipping gently at Elizabeth's hipbones his hands gently loosened her boots, prompting her to lift her feet he divested her of them, her socks and pants.

When he finally looked up at her again then she was staring down at him, eyes dark and curious and maybe a little afraid. He traced his fingers up over her solid lean calves and found goosebumps wherever he touched. His eyes never leaving hers he offered a small smile before ducking his head once more to kiss and trace patterns on her abdomen. Peeking up at her he saw she now had her eyes closed and was breathing fast.

When John's tongue ventured along the top edge of her panties Elizabeth let out a shaky gasp. Her hands found his scalp and gently scratched as she unconsciously rocked her pelvis minutely towards his questing mouth. Slowly he kissed his way along the crease where her body met her hip and leg and he was so close she could feel his breath on her most sensitive of places. His fingers traced the edge of her underwear and gently grazed her wetness through the material. She made an involuntary low moan and was so caught up in the feeling of him exploring her that she was quite unprepared when he was suddenly on his feet again pressed against her, staring at her with such a look on his face that she was all at once afraid by his intensity and incredibly wet from the fact he was grinding himself against her.

He'd been quietly and wonderfully learning her body and delighting in the way her nails scratched his scalp and her hips rocked almost imperceptibly against his face when she'd made that low humming noise again. His eyes had immediately flicked upward and found hers squeezed shut, mouth slightly open and cheeks flushed. In that single moment all of his hard won calm had dissolved and the very real urge to be with her returned. In force.

He'd stood and pressed himself against her, palming her butt and grinding his arousal into her. Her eyes had opened and been dark as hell, matching his own and he knew that the time for further exploration would have to be later. He needed her.

Slowly he started walking backwards towards where he vaguely hoped his bed still was, taking Elizabeth with him and never losing contact with her skin. When the backs of his knees hit the mattress he slowly lowered himself and rested his hands on her hips. He looked up at her and never broke her gaze as he slowly, tortuously licked gently at her nipple. She gasped at the wetness on her skin and buried her hands in his hair. Holding his gaze became impossible where he gently sucked on her oversensitive skin.

Gently his fingers found their way to the edge of her panties and John pushed the scrap of cotton down her smooth legs. Waking from her reverie Elizabeth widened her stance and put one knee either side of John's hips, forcing him to lay backwards with her proximity. Bracing herself over him with a hand either side of his face she slowly lowered herself to within millimetres of his lips and stared into the black pools that had become his eyes. His hands were still ghosting her hips and butt and gently she lowered herself over his boxer clad pelvis, brushing her wetness and heat over his arousal.

He hissed and bucked upwards, earning another one of her amazingly erotic moans. Pressing her down again he rubbed himself gently along her wet entrance and poked gently at her most sensitive nub, the fabric of his underwear creating wonderful friction for them both. Her hovering lips suddenly crashed into his and Elizabeth mumbled incoherent curses and praises against his mouth as he tangled a hand in her hair and used his weight to flip them over. Seeing her beneath him, flushed and heaving with desire was almost more than he could bear but as he coaxed her further onto the bed so their feet left the floor her nimble hands lowered themselves to his underwear and palmed him firmly. He thrust into her hand wantonly and buried his face against her shoulder, praying to all that was good and holy to help him survive her.

He felt good in her hand she thought. She knew he wouldn't be a disappointment from feeling him against her earlier but he was hard and hot in her hand and as he nipped and suckled at her she realised that he was as close to coming undone as she. Frantically she pushed at the band of his underwear and pushed it as far down as possible. Quickly moving to help he pushed his shorts to his ankles and kicked them off. Retaking his place above her he gently combed hair back from her pink cheeks and trailed his fingers down the centre of her body under he found her core. Tracing her wetness with slightly less sure than usual fingers he kissed her deeply. Her hips were moving against his hand, seeking more from him and he knew he was lost. But when she pulled her mouth from his and all but keened out her need he could deny either of them no more.

Shifting his weight slightly he lowered himself to her heat and positioned himself, finding her eyes before he sank himself into her slowly but completely. She moaned, loudly, and squeezed her eyes shut. Her hands clawed at his back and her legs locked around his ass, holding him to her and inside her. She was so hot and so amazingly tight he could feel every flex her internal muscles made. He held himself still for fear of not being able to hold himself back from pummelling her until she screamed his name but, as with their first kiss out in the hall which now seemed so very long ago, she took the decision away from him.

God she was close already, he'd entered her and rubbed against her in all the right places. His pubic bone was resting on her most sensitive spot and the way he was suckling her breasts was driving her insane. Almost without her permission her hips lowered from his before thrusting back upwards, prompting him to start his own movements. Slowly she felt his hips rock backwards away from her before deeply but slowly filling her again. The tempo felt amazing and she could hardly breathe but as she felt her approaching wave she started to rock her hips faster and harder against him, forcing him to reciprocate until they were throwing their pelvises together.

She was moaning and almost shouting his name as she urged him on. Her nails clawed at his back as she hoarsely groaned "Faster, harder oh please..oh" and John felt his long put off climax approaching fast. From the way she was bucking against him and had lost all manner of timing he hoped she was right there with him and as he thrust back inside her one last time he ground himself against her in a figure of eight, rubbing himself against her clit and he felt her tense around him as his own orgasm let loose with a cry. She clutched at him and ground herself into the base of his manhood as she rode her own out and yelled his name. As she relaxed against him he slowly stroked her insides with his softening arousal until her aftershocks stopped and her clawing fingers relaxed and held him against her in an embrace. Her legs unlocked from his back and he gently rolled them over so Elizabeth was curled against him with one leg cast over his own.

Lying with her cheek to John's chest she could feel his heartbeat slowly returning to an even keel and his gentle fingers stroked paths down her overheated skin. She was still on fire from him and wanted to tell him so but the moment of being uninhibited had passed and she was suddenly immensely fearful of what they had just done and what he might be thinking. And what they could have just ruined.

She fidgeted against him and met his eyes only when he traced her chin with his fingers and tilted her face up to him.

"What?" he said softly.

"Are you sorry?" she whispered without really meeting his gaze.

He chuckled gently "Well, let's see. I guess I'm pretty sorry we haven't been doing that forever, yeah. In fact I think we should do this more. Don't you?".

This time she met his eyes and they held the familiar twinkle that she had grown to know as her own. She manoeuvred herself up onto her elbow and traced his jaw with her fingers. He kissed her fingertips and pulled her to lay flush on top of him.

In a teasing, trademark John Sheppard tone he said "Now, what I think we should really talk about, _Dr. Weir_, is how the hell I didn't know you don't wear underwear under that shirt of yours".

She giggled against his mouth as he claimed hers once again and neither of them were afraid anymore.


End file.
